breathing symphonies

lloveisaplace @ 2009-04-10T17:37:00

2009-04-10T22:38:24Z

http://lloveisaplace.tumblr.com/

I rarely post on LJ. But I'll try.

nothing's all

2009-03-21T04:11:51Z

oh, but i need you now.

swallow your sleep

2009-03-19T04:50:36Z

i take back what i said

the weather is changing things

you will remain unchanged

2009-03-15T18:37:19Z

why do i always have to be the one to put forth effort

if i stopped, it would never happen at all

i don't think your life would be any different if i suddenly wasn't a part of it anymore

an awful lie

2009-03-11T21:41:36Z

i can't believe that this has happened

_{i tried to put an old picture of us in this entry
but i couldn't, i really couldn't}

and you wake up in the morning to find out
you are not
you are not who
you are not who you used to be

i'm sorry.

morning shrinks space but leaves no message

2009-03-05T06:28:21Z

and that is all i have to say

i watched the sun rise this morning

2009-03-04T05:23:29Z

and i swear the blood inside my veins was on fire
and i swear my heart was rising in my chest

i can't remember the last time i felt that way

today was a good day

i have no reason as to why that is

i just feel, so good

no picture for today

2009-03-01T17:33:25Z

i haven't had a positive entry since february 10th

i feel like shit today
and i've been feeling like shit almost every day

i spent all my money last night on things i didn't want or need

and it's funny

our blood could have been giant pools spilling over the pavement

but it didn't really matter then

it doesn't really matter now

and you know what
it feels so good to know that i can't trust a word that comes out of your fucking mouth

things aren't how they should be

i'm keeping my eyes open
and my mouth shut

let's see how long that lasts

and even after all that
"do you see him a lot? or is he not important"

"Yeah I see him almost every day. And yes. He's very important."

this is wrong and i'm sick so sick of it

feels like a nightmare

2009-02-25T22:22:03Z

i really just want to get out of here

it seems i have too much to think about
and not enough to say

i really needed it

i really did need you then

but it didn't happened

i'm so sick of this winter
and i'm so sick of trying

yeah - yeah honestly

2009-02-24T21:40:25Z

i don't think i've ever loved you more.

a song for no one

2009-02-22T16:35:15Z

i slept badly last night

i finally woke up to stomach pains and too-bright light

and i felt totally empty

and i feel totally alone

these things take forever; i especially am slow

2009-02-21T17:43:57Z

i don't know where i am
i don't know where i've been

but i

know where i want to go

i know what i want
but i'm afraid to be so honest

i'm so much stronger now
but i'm also weaker than i've ever been

forget

2009-02-18T00:26:28Z

i don't even know why my feelings are so hurt by this

i can taste smoke on my lips and in my mouth and smell it on my skin
yeah, yeah, yeah

the more i try, the more i fail

i can't

2009-02-15T19:09:44Z

i'm feeling very on-edge today
and i have no idea why

when in truth, i know exactly why
and i'm saying that as an attempt to bring my current perspective out from under the floorboards

spin

2009-02-12T07:32:01Z

i could not even take the last entry that i wrote - i had to delete it

i don't care how true it is
i will not put myself out there like that again

i feel like i'm constantly floating between mindsets of the extreme

the highs are the highest
the lows are the lowest

i can breathe and i feel happy

but this isn't the right kind of air

it's not too much

it's not too little

it just isn't right

it's been a long time coming

2009-02-10T22:10:39Z

i got very little sleep last night
but i feel so good

the weather is amazing

everything feels the way it should be

this could be obvious to you

2009-02-09T23:18:02Z

today was pretty bad
i felt more alone than i have for a long while

but for some reason i feel much better now

i've been choosing my words carefully

i am so proud of myself

but you know,

2009-02-09T07:28:56Z

i can still look at this situation and say that it's not forever

that makes me feel pretty good

blur

2009-02-09T07:08:42Z

i'm at a loss for words, and have been the past couple nights

there is this voice screaming i want to be a fucking island in the back of my mind
today i've gone through every emotion in the spectrum

when i woke up, i couldn't even feel anything at all

i feel so imperfect and impermanent

i'm disappointed in myself
because all of this is just because of you

if i learned to breathe on my own, i would not have to live through this over and over and over again

i need to get out of here

2009-02-03T16:19:56Z

i thoought sacrifice might mean something

the wounds throb even though they're not real yet

would you reach inside them to uncover the secret?

you try to tell me but your tongue feels severed

I'm 18.

2009-01-30T07:03:25Z

I can't believe I'm letting any of this bother me.

I'm so emotionally weak, it's funny.

Happy fucking birthday.

you're a fool

2009-01-23T07:04:35Z

i can't believe how panicked i was for that one second

i'm ridiculously exhausted but i don't want to go anywhere near my bed

i can barely keep my eyes shut these days

strange bouts of nostalgia, too

i'm not really sure where this is all leading

i feel like looking up at the stars
but it feels as though they don't exist now

i could just lay here on the floor and wait until i can feel my blood moving

i really can't wait

2009-01-20T07:13:09Z

baby, oh touch me like you did in the

summer when I woke up just to hear
speakers made of tin cans piercing through

my window like a cold breeze on my ear

summer, i really can't wait for you to get here

so beautiful

2009-01-19T20:45:18Z

a new birth into the present

like a patchwork quilt made out of time, with infinite folds, scattered with charged multi-dimensional statics the potentials for

scribblers seeding a burnt-brown zombi-grass lawn

what came before, coming new consciousness to rise and walk the earth

lives intersecting in serendipity, everyone fucking to forget everything what once was
-perpetualpoem

being alive is so amazing, i can't even explain

i'm having one of those infinite moments
it feels like everything i fucking see and breathe is alive and happy

everything about life is extraordinary

there's a luster from the city lights

2009-01-18T19:34:01Z

this is a city for not sleeping and the clocks are set by feel

at this moment from where i sit, none of it seems real

my head is sort of spinning
i'm remembering things i unintentionally tried to forget

when i take a step back and look at myself
i can't help but be scared by what i see

i don't really know how to explain it, and i'm not going to try
i guess i just feel like i don't really know myself anymore

and what's even more odd, is the fact that i might actually like it